MuSLIM MARRIAGE 101
COACHING /COURSES
GROW with knowledge
Information is the key factor in creating change for yourself, learn to be a better, healthier version of you!
Grow. Learn. Live.
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Peace Be Upon You,I’m Shireen
About
My journey into marriage started in my teens when I decided I wanted to be a Family and Marriage Counsellor, according to Shari’ah. I consumed a lot of Islamic material regarding marriage and was obsessed with the beautiful marriage of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) and Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him). I studied counselling skills and, in the process, got married at 19. Allah allowed me to learn through first-hand experience the task, knowledge and pain needed to have the necessary skills to help other sisters.
I have been divorced twice, yet in the process, I was convinced that I was “missing something.” I continued to keep searching for knowledge including in secular works. With the help of Allah my journey has given me the ability to see things from more than a theoretical point of view, but a practical one – Alhamdulilah. Every time some new information came to me, I applied it. Granted that application was not necessarily well focused or utilized. Sometimes it was desperate and sometimes it was downright broken. But it was a necessary journey for me to understand what information was relevant to a believer and what could be discarded.
Today, I am blessed to be married again (two years shy of a decade) Alhamdulilah, with full understanding that no matter who you marry and how good (or “not good”) they are, you will always have to go through a journey of “figuring things out.”
My marital repertoire is quite comprehensive because of what has come my way – indeed Allah tests you with what you love.
So, if it’s divorce, addiction, step-children, inter-cultural/racial, polygyny, been in multiple marriages, single parenting, marriage with your own children in the mix, I’ve been there, Alhamdulilah! In those tests, I’ve been confused and desperately wanted to know what I should do, not based on what was the easiest option but what was the right thing to do. My book Muslim Marriage 101, my 1-on-1 coaching and courses is an attempt to offer this knowledge, alongside a deep consciousness of Allah and awareness that our marriage is a spiritual journey too.
Love
Intimacy
EFFORT
I’M HERE IF YOU NEED ME
Who I Help
The women I work with are sisters that are “sick and tired!” They are fed up! They have fully internalized that their husband is not going to change. They aren’t sure what to do. Though they say “I’m done! That’s it!”, deep down, they are looking for another option, because they know their husband is a decent man and they love him (buried in there under disappointment, neglect, etc).
These women are broken. They are done being strong. While it may sound harsh and to some seem pointless to brother trying, it is at this point in our life when we are most vulnerable and at our peak capacity to absorb new information. Protecting our self-image stops us from growing, but when we are broken, that no longer becomes relevant. We are no longer fighting our own ego or our own fears (because we’re there, it’s happening). We are looking for answers, and when we are here; broken, we allow our perspective to morph. With that willingness and effort, it brings forth transformational results, InshaAllah!
We become laser-focused and by the Permission of Allah, we allow ourselves to “be weak” (ie. feel) and go into our cocoon. We learn to reflect, absorb, and morph into a new person, eager to do things differently. We become free from the many things that we’ve been holding on to, thinking it’s protecting us. The chains of fear break. The social locks become unlocked and we are now free to soar. Things change when we’ve hit our lowest but there’s one caveat: a willingness to learn something different than what we think we know.
If this is you that I’m describing, then know you are ready and with the help of Allah, there is a way out of the suffering. You don’t have to choose to walk away. Nor will that choice heal you, it will only distract and temporarily numb your pain. You remain broken until you choose to do the work, regardless of who is around you.
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